I Am Afraid of Sharks in Swimming Pools. I Bought These Anyway.

I know they’re not real. I know a shark cannot get into a pool. Or a hot tub. I know this logically, in my brain, as an adult person.

And yet.

Every time I’m in a pool at night, something in my lizard brain insists there is a shark down there. Waiting. Patient. Judging my form.

I have decided the correct response to this fear is not therapy. It is Chomping Shark Plush Slippers. If I cannot beat them, I will become them. I will shuffle around my house in faux-fur shark heads, anti-slip soles, and soft polyurethane cushioning, and I will feel nothing but power.

They’re one size fits all, genuinely comfortable, and feature open chomping mouths so it looks like your feet are being eaten with every step. Which is either terrifying or cathartic depending on your relationship with the ocean.

Embrace your fear. Wear it on your feet. Blame the internet.

💰 $32.97 👉 Get It On Amazon